Start with ugly, nasty truth, then polish it
"In the long run, the most unpleasant truth is a safer companion than a pleasant falsehood" Theodore Roosevelt
In a coaching session once, my client and I were talking about a meeting he had coming up in which he needed to present something controversial. An external agency had failed to perform to the level required and overall company sales performance fell below expectations for the quarter. He was struggling with how to present this to the company leadership. Long-standing relationships were involved and he risked tarnishing them. That said, he had a duty to expose the failures and offer solutions. I offered, "start with the ugly nasty truth, then polish it for delivery."
I could sense both his relief at being able to speak the ugly truth and apprehension as he knew he could not deliver it that raw. It was a good exercise - starting with the raw truth, focusing on the root cause of the problem. In this case, the root cause came down to misalignment. The external agency was servicing several clients and was focused on other goals. We looked for other contributing factors to lessen the blow. Problems are never the fault of one individual or agency. Now on to the polishing...
Polishing does not mean hiding the truth or sugar coating something just to avoid upsetting someone. Rather, it is an unemotional, professional way of presenting hard ugly, facts. Polishing is both the choice of words and how and to whom they are delivered. Start on indisputable common ground - the mission, vision, or the boss's guidance. We replaced the ugly "sales performance failure," with "our sales performance this year." Failure was clearly known by all. No need to restate it. Then we included other 'owners' of this failure, including himself. The result:
Ugly nasty. "The external agency failed in its duty to help us meet sales objectives because it is spread too thin and focused on goals not aligned with our company. We should fire them."
Polished. "I'd like to share my assessment of this years sales performance. I'll start on common ground by restating our mission, vision and the boss's sales guidance for the quarter. (insert mission, vision, guidance). I take ownership in this performance. My lesson is to broaden our pre-quarterly sales rehearsal to discover potential pitfalls. Next, our sales leaders must be able to adapt to the changes indicative of our industry. I'm prepared to share more of my thoughts in this area. Lastly, our external agency, due to its successes and growth was challenged to deliver the responsive and flexible service it has in previous quarters. I suggest we review this relationship and scope of work and I'm prepared to share my assessment and recommended solutions."
He sent this before the meeting, in fairness, to all attending, especially the external agency.
As polished as you may be in your communication, people will still be offended and become defensive. Welcome to leadership. A polished delivery, however, strips the anger and emotion from the message and puts the leader on solid ground. Deliver it ugly and emotional and you have lost the argument at the start. Do your homework. Have your facts straight. Start with the ugly truth, then, as mature, professional leaders do, shine it up a bit and deliver it bravely, standing your ground.
Make it Personal!
Rob
Rob Campbell