Leadership when you discover a liar
Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.
Trust lies at the core of every relationship, personal and professional. When broken, it is difficult, even impossible in some cases to repair. Trust between the leader and the led and amongst peers is central to every healthy, high-performing organization. The breaking of trust in the form of a lie is one of the many challenges leaders will surely face in their leadership journey. Unfortunately there is no manual, which outlines the steps a leader ought to take. There is however, advice from this old soldier. Here it is.
Make sure you are on solid ground. Make sure you have a bona fide lie. Gather facts and 'ask don't accuse' (previous blog) before you charge a person with lying. Confront the person with a genuinely curious demeanor and ask them to describe what they were thinking and why they said what they said. Let themidentify and confess their deceit. Then ask them why they chose dishonesty.
Review for them the values of your organization and the predicament this puts you in as the leader, meaning you must address it. To not address it is to send a message that this behavior is acceptable. There are a variety of things which can be done such as docking pay, having the person talk about their deceit in front of their peers (consult a lawyer or an HR professional). Following that interaction, take time to think. Ask yourself,
Is this an isolated incident or a pattern of behavior?
Did the person act with malice and forethought or was it a lapse in judgement and ethics?
What factors caused this person to believe that lying was their only or best option? i.e. were the pressures exerted by me and or the organization so great that it contributed to the lie?
The answers to these are important. As a leader it is imperative that you understand and determine intent and causes. Next, ask,
Can this person/situation be salvaged?
Has too much damage been done?
As you wrestle with the answers, keep the greater team and organization in mind. That is where your loyalty should shift, not to an individual. Whatever you discover and decide you ought to share it with the greater team. They will know of the lie and will want to see you act.
This is such an important part of leadership and I'd hate for you to have to 'go it alone.' Every leader needs a coach. I have two. Call me today and let me introduce you to a transformative experience.
Make it Personal!
Rob
Rob Campbell