Countering your bosses demeanor
"A leader can invite you to become upset, but you ultimately accept the invitation." Colonel Rob Campbell
What to do, what to do? Leaders can profoundly affect their organization through their words and demeanor. Toxic boss, toxic organization. Weak, complacent boss, mediocre organization. What then, is the role of the led? It certainly is not meeting toxicity with toxicity, frustration with frustration.
Bosses get frustrated and emotional. The best ones guard their emotions but they are human beings after all. When my boss was frustrated or angered, I always chose to meet him or her with the opposite demeanor. For instance, a calm reassuring tone coupled with confident speech will go a long way to comforting a frustrated leader. While it is true that some leaders want to stir the pot and get the group animated, be cautious of this, especially when you feel it will just add fuel to the fire.
When my former bosses got heated I would muster up some personal calm. I would listen intently and be empathetic. Then I would offer comforting phrases such as, "we're a strong team boss," or "let me/us help with that." I would find the courage to stay on message and deliver confidently what I was trying to deliver. I would remind myself that I was strong and confident. I found it to be a good counter to my leader's emotions.
When the boss was melancholic or preoccupied, I could amp up my narrative with phrases such as, "I'm excited about this next point." or "You seem down/frustrated. This should help..." I would avoid parading around and getting overly excited - I'd lose the moment, but I could alter my voice and use effective wording to meet the boss in an opposite way. An appropriate joke might even do the trick.
What's important here is picking up on cues. We get to know our bosses, how they tick and what excites and angers them. We should be conscious of their demeanor and counter it for the benefit of them and the organization. It's ok to get frustrated along with them but consider doing something to help them overcome. Meet them the opposite way.
Make it Personal!
Rob
Rob Campbell