Leading Drama
"Drama does not just walk into your life. Either you create it, invite it, or associate with it." Anonymous
Do you work in an organization rich with drama where emotions are exposed frequently – where rumors and innuendos are formed by the stories people create in their heads and come to believe as fact? Are you a leader in such an organization? Here are my thoughts.
Drama and emotions are siblings. I’ve seen the downfall of many a person and leader because they could not control their emotions. They might wear their heart on their sleeve and or dramatize things – meaning put some ‘spin’ on an otherwise normal situation, believe an untruth, or fail to control their emotions. It can be exhausting and unhealthy in even the smallest group of people.
Drama happens and or is caused by several things. Immaturity usually tops the list. I was more emotional as a young leader. I thought it was the way until I was trained or coached out of that belief and matured as a person and a leader. Social media fuels drama as we send short, often ambiguous messages between each other in rapid fashion completely void of interpersonal interaction. Last but certainly not least, drama happens when leaders fail to take charge. If left unaddressed, drama can destroy personal and professional relationships and organizations writ large.
Leading drama, managing it, or countering it falls on leaders and leadership. I’ve found some interesting writings on the topic which serve as great tips for the leading drama. Jousline Savra, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LFMT) offers useful practices specific to family and marriages but useful for the workplace (article here). Here are a few.
“You are responsible for your own feelings, not for others’ feelings. However, you are responsible to the person you are talking to, be present and listen to them carefully.” When drama arrives, leaders must offer this mature and sage advice to the ‘drama queen(s).’ This can be done on the spot as drama appears or early in the development of individuals and teams. Leaders can discuss drama early in their tenure sharing this helpful tip, then reinforce.
“Deal with conflicts as soon as possible – nip it in the bud.” This is excellent. Have your drama radar on. When it appears hit the brakes. Stop people or teams and steer them away from it and coach them on how to handle it. Tell them nothing good will come from drama especially drama caused by rumors or innuendos. Walk them logically through - counter the story (ies) they have formed in their head and guide them toward mature conversations. Have them examine their own stories, beliefs, and feelings.
Fast Company, a business magazine and professional forum offers, “7 Ways to Steer Clear of all that Exhausting Workplace Drama.” This piece (here) is written more in the spirit of avoidance for subordinates but the ‘ways’ are useful for leaders. Here are a few.
“Set Boundaries.” This is good for leader and led. Boundaries are like opaque walls which do not let in toxic behavior, rumors, bullying etc. Take a “just say no” approach when drama appears. Boundaries can be set for individuals and for organizations. “I/We do not tolerate that here. We seek the truth through listening, empathizing, and communicating, not fueling drama.”
“Practice Emotional Intelligence.” Every person, indeed, every leader needs to be skilled at emotional intelligence – a keen understanding of the feelings of ourselves and others through introspection, self-awareness, and a thirst to converse and ‘know’ more.
It helps to have a good mix of younger and older people on your team and gender diversity as men and women deal with drama differently and need to balance each other. Get your teams communicating – not passing emojis and cryptic text messages in place of useful, thoughtful, and professional communication. Form and foster personal responsibility, selflessness, and ownership.
I matured out of my emotional, drama filled days as a young man and leader because I had mature, emotionally intelligent leaders above me. I watched and emulated them. Be that leader for those you lead. Take on drama because little good will come from it. Lead drama. Don’t let it lead you, your people, and your organization.
Make it Personal!
Rob
Rob Campbell