The Death of a Teammate
"Those we love don't go away. They sit beside us every day." Liane Moriarty
This is the worst subject but, unfortunately, a real one. Over the weekend I learned of the death of the husband of one of my former soldiers Melissa. I didn't know him personally - she married years after I left that unit, but the news was still terrible. I can't imagine losing a loved one. Nobody wants to imagine that, let alone experience it, but as leaders, we must be ready for when it happens. We trained for this in the Army as we knew it was inevitable. Here are some tips. Perhaps you store this away for use should it happen in your organization.
Manage communications. When tragedy strikes people talk. Indeed, teammates want each other to know which is proper, but leaders must do their best to prevent rumors and falsehoods and to protect the privacy of the survivors. I would always be early to communicate, announcing the news, rallying the team behind the survivor and their family, and asking my people to respect their privacy. I may direct communication toward me or toward the person assisting the individual and their family so as not to overwhelm them. People will feel compelled to reach out and offer help. I'd also ask my people not to talk about things which they have no knowledge of - to not get ahead of the story.
Communicate with the survivor(s). You can travel to their residence to see them in person to offer your condolences and the assistance of the team or call them. Either way, you as the leader, must communicate (or attempt to) with them. I would never say things like, "are you ok?" I just simply offer my sympathy and the assistance of the organization. I may tell them that I've managed communications from their teammates so as not to overwhelm them. I may even ask if they wish to receive phone calls or emails. People grieve in various ways and it is important to understand and cater to their needs. I'd never mention work timelines or projects. I'd keep it simple and focused on their loss and immediate needs.
Focus the team. People will be in shock but the organization must function. You can communicate this early or as a follow up having seen or communicated with the survivor. It could sound something like this, "Team, I visited John and he is obviously distraught and in shock. He is surrounded by loved ones who are helping him. I've offered our support and I'll continue to communicate with him. I know we are all grieving for John and I'm available if you need help. In his honor, let's continue to do our work and keep the organization functioning."
It is unlikely your team will want to practice any of this. That is understandable. The best preparation you can do is to get to know your people and their families on a deeper level. It would be a pity to meet a spouse for the first time at a funeral.
Tragedy does not only strike on battlefields. It can happen on Main Street. Leaders must be prepared and must act when it happens.
Rob
Rob Campbell