Unfriend, Unfollow, Unlike, Un-huh?
"Your inspirational quotes have inspired me to unfriend you." Someecards
"She/He unfriended me." By now we have all heard this. Perhaps a person had an argument with another or posted something which offended. One or both of the parties gently swiped their thumb, clicked on the button and poof, person X is eliminated from their feed! I think it's stupid. Forgive me for being so blunt but I, for one, think the act of un_____ in and of itself accomplishes little to nothing. Mostly I believe it's cheap and cowardly. I might be on a rant here. Don't un____ me. I'll offer something.
Indeed, I can understand if someone on a person's social media feed is spewing nonsense or being offensive, they should be removed from the feed. I've done that once or twice in my life. I'm not an unfriend'er. I'm also not a constant consumer of social media. I do visit Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn daily but I don't stay long. I do enjoy the benefits of connecting with friends and family, laughing at funny videos, and learning from others. I can see through the smoke and mirrors though.
Many present an image and life or career of total bliss. They post with an air of confidence and complete fulfillment. BS. I risk a wee bit of negativity and hypocrisy here - uncharacteristic of me. Maybe I'm just in a mood in this wee hour of the morning. Don't un_____ me. Outside of my personal accounts, I do post on these feeds about my leadership business displaying all the great work I do. My small businesses have social media accounts where we talk (and show) a big game. The businesses are both very good and I can deliver when it comes to leadership and I'm sensitive not to offend, therefore, I don't feel dirty doing it. I don't need a shower.
When I hear, "She/He unfriended me, I wonder, and even ask, "What did one hope to accomplish by unfriending the other?" "Has anything been solved?" "Did the two parties communicate personally or did they just engage in what I've heard called keyboard courage?" If it occurs in the workplace between teammates, it can be harmful. If ever I heard this as a leader - "Megan unfriended me," I'd have a chat with the two parties - individually at first, then together. I would not let something like this fester in the workplace. It seems petty and trivial - unworthy of acknowledgment, but I'm wise enough to know, in today's world it means something. Perhaps I'm learning as I write.
If someone unfriended me and I took offense to it, I'd pick up the phone and call them. I wouldn't email, message, text, and I would definitely never - never post something like, "Some people just want to engage in hurt. Because they are unhappy in their own lives and cannot deal with their own inadequacies, they choose to hurt others. I won't play a part it in." Who is 'some people' and what in the world is this message supposed to accomplish? Have you seen something like this before? It only causes me to scratch my head.
As leaders, we certainly cannot control the social media behavior of our people. Yet, when unpleasant, unhelpful, even offensive words, videos, or pictures, are posted - things which may impact the well-being of the company and its teammates, it is appropriate for leaders to inquire about the purpose of this behavior, and ask that it be stopped for the sake of the team. If it persists, it may indicate ego, selfishness, and it may require removal of the person from the team - not unfriending.
We certainly won't stop unfriending or blocking wars but I believe it is appropriate for us to challenge the behavior when it impacts our people and our organization. People who engage in keyboard courage, moreover, people who fail to face others and work out disagreements in person need coaching.
I love my social media feeds. I'll be back on them soon after I finish typing - hoping you have not un______'d me!
Make it Personal!
Rob
Rob Campbell