Got Confidence?
Self-doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. Suzy Kassem
What was the greatest obstacle you had to overcome in your life? Go back to your childhood if needed.
Have you ever seen a leader who was totally confident? There are none. Everyone wrestles with doubt, uncertainty, and insecurity which eats away at confidence. Life experiences, bullying, harassment, misinformation, and the world around us, (especially in a pandemic) all cause lack of confidence.
At the core of this lack of confidence, deep in our psyche live limiting beliefs. These are the limiting statements we tell ourselves. “I can spend some time helping Tim understand what I want to be done but he will probably screw it up.” “I’ve tried that before with Sarah so it will probably fail.” “I don’t think I can do that.” Had these thoughts? When we talk to ourselves in this manner, focused on limitations our brains begin to believe it. Think it, believe it, then act it. Not good for leadership.
Limiting beliefs are just beliefs, not truths. Truth: “Tim is a smart guy and if I spend some time getting my instructions right, he can do this.” “Sarah resisted last time so I’ll try a different approach with her because this must work.” “I CAN do this and I have a team around me to help me if needed.”
Spend quality time in your head. Face these doubts head-on. Push them into the corner they belong. Confidence will come through experience, trial and error, learning and growing but you will always wrestle with it. Good leaders overcome confidence gaps by engaging in introspection. “What is it about me, what from my childhood and life experiences erode my confidence?” “Do I really believe Tim can’t do it?” “Am I really out of options with Sarah?” “I’ve overcome lots of challenges, am I really incapable of overcoming this one?”
Carlin goes on to describe this: the dump became the landfill, toilet paper became bathroom tissue, hospitals became wellness centers, used cars became pre-owned vehicles, and the list went on.
Here is how to overcome. Get uncomfortable. Have a listen to this TED Talk by Bill Eckstrom, Why comfort will ruin your life and bring some complexity into your life. Journaling is a fantastic way to tackle your doubts. You’ll be amazed at the nonsense you actually wrote. Preparation is always a great method for overcoming a lack of confidence. We do it often before an important pitch, rehearsing our delivery and preparing for potential questions. Get an accountability partner. Remember the Sergeant Major from a few blogs ago? Go find him or her. Finally, seek feedback on your leadership.
What was the greatest obstacle you had to overcome in your life? The answer should show you that you have what it takes to overcome your current obstacles.
Every leader needs a coach. I have two coaches who help me see things I cannot, who challenge my limiting beliefs and hold me accountable. Let me help you or another deserving leader overcome the personal and professional challenges in your life or the life of another. Call, email or refer me today!
Be Confident and Make it Personal!
Rob
Rob Campbell