You don't have that T-shirt anymore
"Been there, done that, got that T-shirt." According to The Free Dictionary, this idiom originally gained fame in the 1980s. It was used for for travel (Niagra Falls? Been there, done that...) and even divorce (Divorce? Been there...) but then was so overused that it became cliche′. Modern versions seem to skip the, "been there, done that" part just sticking to "got that T-shirt." I've heard it used in leadership (even used it myself) but I don't believe it is useful.
When a leader uses "got that T-shirt," or versions like it, such as, "I've done this before," or "I know how you feel," they are equating their experience with that of a subordinate. "Don't be that guy," leveraging yet another quote, this one from the 1994 movie PCU. "You're gonna wear the shirt of the band your are gonna go see? Don't be that guy." Here is the YouTube link. And with that last set of quotations, I believe I've used up my daily allocation. I digress.
Time and conditions separate leaders and subordinates and that means something. While leaders carry timeless lessons, they have a shelf life. As a brigade commander (~4,000-5,000 soldiers), I certainly had platoon leader (~30 soldiers) experience but time, generational differences, the environment, and the conduct of warfare changed. I could offer timeless counsel on how to lead and care for people but I had to be careful of using the 'T-shirt' idiom.
Environments change rapidly. People doing what you once did are doing so under different conditions and while your experience may be useful, an empathetic approach is better. Avoid the 'T-shirt' and offer instead your assistance. Listen intently and if your experience is sought, offer general wisdom, acknowledging it may be different for the person doing the task.
You've got that T-shirt but it may be worn and tattered.
Make it Personal!
Rob
Rob Campbell