Drop your shield
This blog is born of a conversation I had with friend, author and speaker Robert Pardi. Rob lost his wife Desiree to breast cancer and he tells this story of "love, joy, and achievement against all odds" in his book Chasing Life. I asked Rob about how or if he remained stoic throughout his wife's illness. He stated, "you have to drop your shield."
Many of us carry a shield, behind which we protect and even hide things such as fears and faults. Many leaders carry shields. Behind them exists their true self, their doubts and incompetence. Under the leadership philosophy of, "never let them see you sweat," shields can be helpful. I held a shield up when tragedy struck my people in combat. They needed to see my confidence and know that everything would be ok. It was useful in some cases but mostly it needed to come down.
People want strong leaders for sure, but they are drawn to leaders who display vulnerability, who share their true self, their fears and faults. Looking back on my career as a leader, I should have dropped my shield more. Like many leaders I wanted to be seen as this flawless being oozing with confidence and courage. The examples set by other leaders, like Rob, gave me a better approach. I jettisoned my shield when I wrote and shared my bio sketch before becoming the commander or CEO of a large organization in the Army. I share this sketch in Chapter 5 of It's Personal, Not Personnel and I invite you to pick up a copy or download the audio version and check it out. Here is an example of dropping your shield.
"Team, I'm very concerned about the safety of the force as we conduct this mission. In fact I'm frightened when I think of the bad outcomes which are possible and the potential injury and or loss of life. This said, my confidence in you is high and our cause is a noble one. I need your diligence and focus to prepare for this operation while caring for each other."
Rob had to be strong for his wife through her trials but he knew better than to hide behind a shield. He balanced his strength and confidence with vulnerability and authenticity. That is leadership!
Pick up Rob's book. Like me you'll be amazed at Desiree's bravery, tenacity, and perseverance through a debilitating disease. You'll marvel at Rob's courage and his unwavering love and alliance with his wife. Drop your shield.
Make it Personal!
Rob
Rob Campbell