(enter employee's name)'s endless personal problems
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." Mahatma Gandhi
Sasha seems to have a crisis a week. There is always some conflict in her life which interferes with her job. Between her ex-husband, her three pets, and what seems to be frequent illnesses which keep her from work, her boss starts to wonder if she will see any productivity out of her at all or if she can rely on her. Sasha is smart, talented, and hard-working when she is functioning but she can get emotional fairly easily. Sasha's boss knows her to be extroverted, very patient, and a conformist or rule-follower.
An employee like Sasha is a leadership challenge. While her boss wants to be empathetic and helpful to her needs, Sasha's team and the business suffer from her constant distractions and absences. Deep down Sasha's boss wishes she could keep her personal issues away from work. It is a real feeling but Sasha's boss knows better than to verbalize it or act upon it. She truly wants to help but what should she do?
There is no easy answer for situations like this. Indeed, as leaders we should be empathetic. People today have myriad of issues affecting their personal lives and these issues bleed into the workplace. Whether it is a failed relationship, depression, anxiety, or health issues, the people who we lead are complex beings. This said, the business doesn't care - nor should it. A business must function. Customers must be served regardless of a person's personal issues or it will not survive. Here are my thoughts on how to handle Sasha.
Foundation first. I would invest time getting to know Sasha building a trusting relationship where we could communicate with each other honestly. I would prove to her that I cared through my interest in her wellbeing. With this foundation in place, I could address her personal challenges. I would state upfront that I care about her challenges and that I want to help but I would coach her to solve her own problems asking her to develop solutions which would help her overcome her challenges or at least navigate them better and serve her teammates and the business.
As trust grew and coaching progressed, I would ensure she understood that while I care, the business and its customers do not. They expect the very best from the business regardless of the individual challenges of employees. I might even tell her that her absences are not fair to other members of the team who deal with similar personal issues yet find a way to be present and performing. I would coach her to leverage her strengths of patience and conformity and ask her to apply that to her own problem solving - to establish a set of guidelines when determining if she must leave work and be patient with her challenges asking her to rise above. I would certainly find out who she had in her family, if anyone she could lean on.
This is the difficult work of leadership. We are not professional counselors or psychiatrists. We are dealing with the most complex beings in arguably the most complex time in our history. To turn a blind eye to both Sasha's problems and their impact on the business is to fail as a leader. The conversation with Sasha must be had and, if she does not see the big picture, does not approach things in a selfless manner, you may have the wrong person on your team. If I were forced to terminate Sasha's employment, I would do so deliberately, and I would do everything in my power to help her achieve a soft landing or a smooth take off elsewhere. I would strike a balance in my loyalty to Sasha, the business, and its other teammates.
Build a foundation of trust. Invest in the person. Be empathetic. Balance loyalty. Holler if I can help!
Make it Personal!
Rob
Rob Campbell