Three things leaders never say
"Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out." Anonymous
I'm a product of countless leaders I encountered in my military career. I watched all of them intently - copied methods and words which worked, discarded things which did not. I never found the perfect leader. One does not exist but I took away all the good and I practice it today. I remember sayings which I thought were particularly bad and, as I coach and lead people, I refrain from saying them. Here are a few.
"What if you were me?" This might be used by a leader looking for some empathy or bitter that they have more pressure on them than a subordinate might. 'They' are not you and you should never expect them to grasp the demands placed upon you, the pressures you experience, and the perspective you have. It is, indeed, the job of a leader to describe the bigger picture and it is ok to be vulnerable - to share your challenges, but a leader should never toss the burden of their role on a subordinate.
"I'm very busy." What is a subordinate supposed to do with that? A statement like this might just stifle a subordinate from sharing important information or asking for help when they most need it. Everyone is busy and a leader who announces his or her busyness is only marginalizing the busyness of others. A leader could share his or her priorities with a subordinate or listen intently then ask for some time to address what is being shared but, "I'm busy," is better left unsaid.
"Do that for me." I really do not like this statement. Of course, people do what leaders tell them but a leader should never ask someone to do something for him or her, they should ask on behalf of the team or the greater cause. I always hated it when a leader used this statement on me. I did what I was told, but I saw my work contributing to the team, not an individual person. I use, "do that for the team," or "the team needs this done."
There is more to the list. What do you refrain from saying? As I matured as a leader, I became more conscious of the words and phrases I used and how I asked questions. I knew my people were watching me intently as I had done when I was them.
Make it Personal!
Rob
Rob Campbell