Lovely and gentle as a flower, tough as a nail
"Good leaders must first become good servants." Robert Greenleaf
Two years of my 27-year military career - 2008-2010 were spent in Alaska. It was a hallmark assignment for me, commanding a cavalry squadron of about 400 men and women - paratroopers. I would prepare the unit for combat and deploy it to Afghanistan during the surge of forces under Operation Enduring Freedom in 2009. I share some of this story in my upcoming book, "Left and Right of the Boom. The Art of Leadership, Before, During, and After Crisis." Stay tuned! Left behind while we fought on the other side of the globe in the mountains of Afghanistan, were numerous families agonizing over our wellbeing and keeping us connected to them, our families, and the world through mail and emails. They were led by these amazing women pictured above.
I've always said, while those deployed had it hard, I believe our spouses had it just as hard if not harder. We knew when we were in the relative safety of a secure base, they did not. The threat of an Army chaplain and a casualty notification officer approaching the door carrying news no person ever wants to receive is real and ever-present on a military base, especially in a time of war. The horror of that - the hardship of a separation caused by war, would make most people run and hide. Not these ladies.
Pictured above are Kirsten my executive officer's (COO) spouse, Leslie, my wife and teammate in command, and Sami our Family Readiness Assistant. They could not protect us from the bullets or bombs, but they were just as important as the equipment, systems and people which could protect us. They protected the homefront and that gave us a sense of security allowing us to focus on our jobs. They cared for the families left behind. They rushed to the aid of those in need. They were there to greet returning soldiers even if their own husband was not in the group.
These wonderful women brought grace and peace to an otherwise chaotic environment. They were the calm in the storm. They were the epitome of a military spouse - serving the cause for love of their soldier and the soldiers and families to their left and right. While married to soldiers, they did not receive pay for what they did but they did it anyway. They could nurture people and teams in ways us soldiers could not, yet they would stand up and push back when the system played against us. I could not have led my unit without them. We could not have done what we did without them. I love them for who they are, what they did, and what they overcame.
Where do we find women like this? They would be the first to tell you that they are "right there," on your own team, ready to do what is necessary under the right leadership and culture. Leaders are not born, they are made and, indeed, the Army threw the hardship book at them sending us from base to base, training event to training event, and war after war. They were products of their environment living in a values-based military society where selflessness and selfless service blossomed in word and deed. Still, I consider them special. I like to think I led them well, that I gave them my focus and attention for the 'job' they would perform. Environment or not, good leadership or not, they rose to the occasion in prodigious fashion, a testament to their grit and character.
There is a plaque on the football stadium at the United States Military Academy, West Point. On it is a quote from General George C. Marshall which reads, "I need an officer for a dangerous and difficult mission. I need a West Point football player." I'll reword it. "I need a gentle yet tough leader who can rise to the occasion when the pressure is on, and the chips are down. I need a military spouse."
Lovely and gentle indeed, but tough as a 10 gauge nail. They saw us off and they welcomed us home helping us 'return to normal.' Where there were no leaders, they filled the void. Never, never doubt what these women, indeed, a military spouse is capable of. Your organization will never experience war, but I hope you have people like them on your team. I'm forever grateful that I did. I'm forever grateful it was these three and so many others in my years of combat.
Make it Personal!
Rob
Rob Campbell