When selfish is selfless
“Never give from the depths of your well, but from your overflow.” Rumi
Selflessness is a central characteristic of leadership. Leaders eat last. Others before self. It's not about you, it's about the team. These are all the mark of great leadership. Leaders who fail to espouse selflessness are destined to fail. But when is it time for self? After all, leaders must eat. They have to do some things for themselves in order to lead effectively.
I've seen the pendulum swing a bit too far. Over-selfless leaders lose effectiveness because they spend all their time caring for others and not themselves. They don't delegate well, refuse to recharge with a healthy snack or meal, or take needed time off to reunite with family. This is where my point comes in. Being selfish - sometimes, is selflessness. Here are three examples.
Introverted leaders can be great leaders but they need quiet time to be at their peak. I coached an introverted leader once who was exhausted by the end of the day because he failed to take his quiet moments to recharge his battery. He felt guilty closing his door making himself unavailable to his people. We worked on his open communication with his team, how he could ask for their help and seek time alone so that he could serve them better.
Taking time off to be with family is indeed, all about self. I've seen leaders whose workaholic nature was grounded in their guilt for leaving their teammates. While noble, this approach prevents a leader from filling a bucket - love an affection, that only family can bring. Taking time off to be with loved ones is an important example to set for those you lead but also a requirement for you to be at your peak.
A nap in the middle of the day is another example but I won't preach this as I have failed to do this in my own work. I'm overcome by guilt so I reach for a cup of coffee instead. If I took a 20-30 minute nap, I'd be a better leader for my people. Perhaps I'll follow my own advice!
These examples, when seen through the lens of how they help leaders operate at their peak, are indeed acts of selflessness. When a leader takes appropriate time for him or herself, they are, in the end, serving others.
Put the oxygen mask on yourself before serving others.
I'm ready to serve others today. Connect me with a leader or an organization in need and I'll deliver a leadership keynote, class or coaching.
Make it Personal!
Rob
Rob Campbell