What I remember about those who led me
I was speaking with another Army officer this week about counseling - the term used in the Army for appraising one's job performance. We agreed that most counseling sessions, if done at all, were lackluster. Of the 27 years I spent in uniform, I received about 5 effective counseling sessions where I was given helpful feedback and constructive criticism - where I was able to reflect on my weaknesses and talk about the personal obstacles which stood in the way of my advancement. Where a leader took time to coach and mentor me. It got me thinking about the impact of leadership on me - what stuck and what I remember to this day.
The memories are all small moments where I was thanked for my efforts, or when a leader asked about my family, or took the time to offer his or her sage advice to help me grow - when a leader placed trust in me that I believed I had not earned. I remember those times when a leader had good reason to admonish or fire me but instead, underwrote my mistakes, saw something in me, and gave me a second chance. I remember those times watching a leader address a group of people with confidence, charisma, caring and vulnerability. These moments that I remember were moments which helped me grow, inspired me, and made me feel valued. They made me perform better under those leaders and I strive to emulate them today.
There is much I do not remember. I don't remember any of the tasks or orders I was given. I don't remember most of the events and missions I was a part of though I do remember the people around me and the leaders who did or did not make an impact on me. I do remember a lot of the bad - those things I chose not to emulate. Those negative memories return to me now and then but it is the positive things I remember most, those things which informed my leadership philosophy of investing in people.
It is the small stuff that counts. A hand on a shoulder, looking another in the eye, or listening intently. Showing empathy yet challenging someone to be all that they can be. Time taken to share wisdom with an individual or group. A counseling session (or appraisal) where you take a subordinate on a journey of discovery and growth (See chapter 8 of my first book). A written Thank You note or formal recognition for the performance and hard work of another. Inclusion of a family member thanking them for supporting their loved one as he or she moved mountains for your organization. It is these small, seemingly insignificant moments which really stick and it is our job as leaders to realize their importance and deliver them to our people.
I remember these small yet profound moments in my own career and, while I do get consumed with the task at hand, I try hard to deliver these pearls of leadership to my people in the fleeting time I share with them. I make an effort to invest in them. I do this because I know it is important.
What do you remember about leaders and how will your people remember your leadership?
Make it Personal!
Rob
Rob Campbell