Prying into their personal lives
"It's Personal. Not Personnel" Colonel Rob Campbell
Do leaders have any business in the personal affairs of their people? My short answer is, yes. What people do at home affects how they perform at work. In the Army we had a concept called the performance triad. It's elements; sleep, diet, exercise. We needed soldiers to be at the top of their game in preparation for the rigors of war. If they were up all night playing video games, or if they were eating poorly, lack luster performance would result. What they did or didn't do at home mattered. It is no different in an exceptional business.
Indeed, a leader cannot be present at someone's private residence telling them it's time for bed. Nor are leaders marriage counselors, financial advisors, or dietitians. They have no authority over those activities, but what leaders can and should do is stress how, what their people do at home affects their performance at work. They ought to tease out behaviors which prevent someone from being at the top of their game. This is a concept I call leading beyond the workplace.
I am the champion of my people. I want what is best for them in their personal and professional lives. I want them to understand their passions and pursue them, even if it means they will one day leave my team. I want my people on a trajectory of growth, healthy and happy in their lives. They know I love and appreciate them because I show it by looking them in the eye, thanking them personally, embracing their family, and challenging them to do and be better.
Before I begin to ask about sleep, diet, exercise, and other personal affairs, I build a foundation of trust through the activities I mentioned above. I share of myself, my triad, and my challenges in life. I engage in vulnerability before I ask the same of them. I may clarify my intent verbally stating that I'm not prying but that I care and I want them at their best. For that I cannot be faulted nor should any leader. I don't push someone or try to dig up dirt on them. If a subordinate gets defensive or pushes back, they may not be a good fit for my exceptional, high-performing team.
Give this a shot. Have a sit-down with one of your people. Share your ups and downs, then ask the same of them. Often, just by opening up and offering space (and an ear) people will discover their own performance issues and commit to doing better. It's not prying. It's just good leadership.
Make it Personal!
Rob
Rob Campbell